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Tips to Teach Teens to Give-Back Getting teens involved in helping the community creates a lifetime of giving back 
Sneak a look at a teen’s Facebook page or get a glimpse of his 30th text message of the day and a parent may wonder if their offspring will ever become less self-absorbed. Although it may not be evident to a parent, the teen years are when children develop their “passion for contributing,” according to Richard M. Lerner PhD, Tufts University. “They want to make themselves better kids. They also want to help their families and neighbors,” says Lerner, director of the Institute for Applied Research in Youth Development at Tufts, Medford, Mass. Parents can encourage and stimulate those positive traits when they understand what motivates teens. Here are some tips from child development experts. • Teens want to improve their world. “This generation is more engaged in the community than ever before,” Lerner says. Depending on his age, a teen maybe more inspired to help with local and current situations, according to Mary Muscari, associate professor in the Decker School of Nursing at Binghamton University, Binghamton, N.Y. “Younger teens are more interested in the here and now. Older teens can see the future,” says Muscari, author of “Let Kids be Kids” (University of Scranton Press, 2006). • Teens want to take action. “Doing things gives teens more of a sense of attachment and involvement,” Muscari says. For example, teens may help with a neighborhood Habitat for Humanity project. But if they can’t directly help they might want to raise money, not just donate it. • Teens want to be in charge. They’re capable of developing their own projects, from inspiration to leadership and follow-through, Lerner says. However, if a teen invites a parent to join in an activity, say a car wash, do so. Parents can show approval and set a good example by getting involved, according to the experts. • Teens want to work with their friends. Group activities are very important, Muscari says. The positive energy generated leads to innovative ideas. • Teens don’t want their parents to force them into volunteer programs. They won’t be enthused or inspired, and instead will “do it and get it done and over with,” Muscari says. A teen’s high school or other institutions may offer incentives for volunteering that make it hard to refuse. Exchanging school privileges for a certain number of hours of service can whet teens’ interest in doing more, Lerner says. “Many kids who are made to do community service fall in love with this,” he says. The benefit, however, shouldn’t so enticing that it becomes the motivation, according to Muscari. “Teens should learn that the reward comes from within,” she says.
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Bev Bennett, a veteran food writer and editor, is the author of "Dinner for Two: A Cookbook for Couples" and "30-Minute Meals for Dummies"
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