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Posted on: February 3, 2011

‘Ferris’ at 5?

How to tell if your child is playing sick

By Dawn Klingensmith
CTW Features

Lyss Stern’s son was only 5 years old when he started playing sick to get out of going to school. But the New York tot was no Ferris Bueller.

It was his ostensible clairvoyance that gave him away. At bedtime, he would announce, “Mommy, I know my throat is going to hurt in the morning so I can’t go to school.” His acting skills lagged behind his stage-setting skills.

It’s not always that obvious when kids play sick, though. Parents should allow an ill child to stay home and rest, but since this can disrupt their workday and childcare arrangements, they must learn to determine whether the child is truly sick and be aware that faking might mean there are problems at school.

Of course, a child who looks and acts truly ill should be seen by a doctor. Generally speaking, “If a child professes to be sick and you’re not convinced, step one is to take them seriously because you can’t afford to be wrong” and allow a serious condition to worsen, says Dr. Charles Shubin, director of pediatrics, Mercy FamilyCare, Baltimore.

But when doubts arise, the following questions can help parents decide whether the child should be sent to school.

Are the symptoms consistent with common childhood ailments? Flu symptoms include fever, fatigue, body aches and a dry cough. A runny or stuffy nose could point to a milder cold.

Does the child have a fever? Pediatricians become concerned when the body temperature rises above 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit.

What does “opening wide” reveal? A child who complains of a sore throat may have some redness, but diseased tonsils usually look worse than parents imagine — like raw hamburger or a breeding ground for white mold.

Are there tell-tale faking signs such as migrating pain (it starts in the stomach and moves to the ears); short-lived, vague or standby symptoms; and no desire or patience to sleep or lie still? It’s important to give the child the benefit of the doubt because though certain symptoms are often faked, recurring ones could also point to a chronic condition like lactose intolerance, Shubin says.

Is there a social reason for school avoidance such as bullying or ostracizing?

Does the physical space pose a real or imagined threat? Los Angeles-based preschool consultant Susan Cooper describes a 3-year-old whose chronic stomachaches were brought on by an owl poster at preschool. “Her family drove down a rural road where every fencepost had an owl on it, and ever since she was scared to death of owls.”

What happened in school yesterday? A child may have gotten in trouble or suffered a humiliation in gym class.

Does a pattern start to emerge? A child who is always “sick” on test days may need a tutor.

Are there changes or problems at home? Ironically, some kids want to keep an eye on a tense situation as opposed to escaping, Cooper says.

Is the child bored at school? Gifted students who aren’t being challenged may feel their time is wasted at school.

Is the problem psychological or psychosomatic? Depressed kids may fake illness in order to withdraw. Anxious kids may indeed experience physical discomfort.