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They made it through cancer once. How do you best help someone who has to do it all over again?
By Anna Sachse CTW Features
There is no way to be ready for the unwelcome return of cancer – no matter how well a patient coped with and recovered from the illness the first time.
Don’t assume the process will unfold the same way it did on the first go-around. “When cancer comes back, it usually gets harder and harder to treat, and the doctors have to pull out bigger guns,” says Kimberly Stump-Sutliff, registered nurse and associate medical editor for the American Cancer Society. The treatment will likely be more intense and the outcome may be different, so you have to be prepared for new and potentially more difficult physical consequences.
Your loved one may also react differently from how they did before. While some patients might be ready to fight the cancer again as soon as they hear the news, it is also perfectly normal to feel disappointed, sad, anxious, depressed or angry at the doctor or their own body. “I always tell patients that they are entitled to those feelings – cancer sucks,” Stump-Sutliff says. “But then I tell them that they can’t live in that mindset, so let’s focus on what we’re going to do next.”
Nevertheless, you ultimately have to allow your loved one to make their own decisions about the course of treatment. Be patient, open-minded, communicative and supportive. They may choose to rally for another round of chemo. However, if a patient decides they no longer wish to continue treatment, you must respect their wishes, even if you don’t agree, Stump-Sutliff says. “Maybe that’s just how they feel right this second, and tomorrow they will wake up and be ready to fight it again. But you can’t make a cancer patient do something they don’t want to do.”
Getting your loved one’s health care providers involved may also be helpful, as they can weigh in on the likelihood that further treatment will be effective.
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