What Women (and Men) Want

A recent study found that when looking for mates, men seek beauty and women seek wealth and security. What does this mean for those on a quest for the perfect partner?

By Jeff Schnaufer
CTW Features

Before getting caught up in a holiday rush for a relationship, it might be wise to double-check your potential mate’s wish list.

According to a recent study of speed dating co-authored by Indiana University cognitive scientist Peter Todd, both men and women may initially claim they want one thing, while their later actions may say differently.

In the study published in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in September, 46 adults in a speed-dating session in Germany were asked to fill out a questionnaire beforehand assessing themselves and their ideal mate according to evolutionarily relevant traits. These included physical attractiveness, present and future financial status, health and parenting qualities.

Speed dating allows men and women to have three to seven minute long “mini dates” with up to 30 different people. Todd and his colleagues in the study describe such speed-dating events as a “microcosm where mate choices are made sequentially in a faster and more formalized fashion than in daily life.”

In the study, participants stated they wanted to find someone who was like them – a socially acceptable answer. But once the sessions began, the men sought the more attractive women and the women were drawn to material wealth and security, setting their standards according to how attractive they considered themselves.

Although the study wasn’t intended to be a dating guide, Todd says “it might be useful in reiterating the fact that what people say they’re looking for and what they actually choose aren’t always the same thing.”

The results also fell in line with evolutionary theories in psychology, Todd says.

“Ancestral individuals who made their mate choices in this way – women trading off their attractiveness for higher quality men and men looking for any attractive women who will accept them – could have had an evolutionary advantage in greater numbers of successful offspring,” Todd says.

And while the results of the study only captured the initial meeting between two potential mates, Todd says “the initial interest is crucial because if there isn’t any, then people walk away from each other and nothing else can develop.”

Studies using the speed dating methodology are becoming more frequent.

Earlier this year, researchers at Northwestern University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology published a speed dating study that revealed the more you tend to experience romantic desire for all the potential romantic partners you meet, the less likely it is that they will desire you in return.

“Potential partners who seem undiscriminating are a definite turnoff, and those who evoke the magic of feeling special are a big draw,” says Paul W. Eastwick, the lead author of the study and a Northwestern graduate student in psychology.

“People who like everyone, unlike in a friendship context where they generally are liked in return, may exude desperation in a romantic context,” adds Northwestern’s Eli J. Finkel, assistant professor of psychology.

Nor is the study of speed dating likely to slow down.

“This is a growing field, and there is more related work coming,” says Todd, who points to UK researcher Elizabeth Stokoe, who has been analyzing the conversations that people have during speed-dating to look at how they use language to structure initial romantic encounters.

Who knows? Maybe we can expect those results in time for the sweet-talking of Valentine’s Day.

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