Fight the Fear of School

For first-timers and more sensitive students, heading to school can be a tumultuous time; follow these tips to get your kids ready, set, excited to learn

By Anna Sachse
CTW Features

Starting school is a very exciting time for young children – they are learning new skills such as reading, writing and math, meeting new friends and getting the keys to a whole new world that, until now, only belonged to older siblings or bigger kids from the neighborhood.

This big change in a child’s day-to-day life, however, can also produce a lot of anxiety.

“Any change or transition, including good ones, can also be scary, and some kids are naturally more apprehensive than others,” says Jeff Q. Bostic, M.D., Ed.D., director of school psychiatry, Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston. “We’re all on a spectrum in terms of how anxious we get, and some kids are overwhelmed by the transition.”

But preparation can do a lot to allay apprehensions. Bostic advises parents to begin by getting a handle on their child’s initial perceptions of the upcoming experience by asking questions such as, “What are you looking forward to in kindergarten?”, “What sounds like it will be fun?” and “Anything you’re concerned about or not looking forward to?”

In addition, Shyrelle Eubanks, policy analyst for school readiness in the National Education Association’s Department of Education Policy and Programs, Washington, D.C., suggests that before school begins, parents should read books to their children about starting school, talk enthusiastically about starting school and explain to the child the kind of work he or she will be doing in the classroom.

Lawrence Balter, Ph.D., a professor of applied psychology at New York University, New York City, recommends that you have your child talk to other, older children, particularly those who really like school and will talk about it in favorable terms.

Once any concerns are clarified and parents have reinforced a positive point of view about school, most experts agree that it’s a good idea to show children their new school in advance of the first day. “Usually a child’s main concern is with leaving what’s familiar, separating from a secure base such as the home and parents,” says Balter, author of “Parenthood in America: An Encyclopedia” (Library Binding, 2000). “The unfamiliar raises their anxiety.”

If it is at all possible, Bostic recommends that you help your child to feel at home in the new environment by going to the building before the summer ends, establishing the layout of classrooms, bathrooms and play areas, meeting teachers ahead of time, figuring out what the daily schedule will be, tracing bus routes, etc. Then, once the big day arrives, adds Balter, “The parent can also reassure the child that they will be home and waiting for them when the school day is over – let them know that they’re not going anywhere.”

Parents should also not be afraid to enlist the support and expertise of their child’s teacher. “Teachers expect children to have some difficulty and usually plan several weeks of activities that are geared towards helping children adjust to school,” says Eubanks. “Good teachers have an arsenal of strategies that they use to support children and they can usually figure out what each child needs.

“However, if parents believe their child will have extreme difficulty,” says Eubanks, “they should communicate this to the child’s teacher before school starts so that he or she can be prepared to give that child special attention on the first day.”

Beyond the first day or year, returning to school after the summer break is also difficult for some returning students. This anxiety is often a sign of issues with schoolwork. “Oftentimes, when a kid says, ‘I hate school’ or ‘I don’t want to go to school’, what the child is really saying is that some aspect of learning, be it reading, math skills, etc., is daunting,” explains Blythe Duffield, a seventh and eighth-grade humanities teacher at Eastside College Preparatory School, East Palo Alto, Calif. “At the core, the majority of children really love learning, and so a child voicing concerns and fears about school can be a wonderful opportunity to address his or her individual learning needs with the child and his or her teacher.”

This approach is also helpful when a student is having problems with classmates. “Another cause of school fears is peer relationships,” says Duffield, “especially in the middle school or high school years.” Most schools nowadays have a zero-tolerance policy on bullying. If your child is being bullied, Duffield suggests reading up on the school’s student behavior expectations/policies, talking to the school’s administration about your child’s concerns and contacting a teacher to discuss the problems and possible solutions.

Whether it’s the first day of school or back-to-school, the best way to fight the fear of school is through preparation and communication. And who knows? After that first traumatic day, you may have to fight to get your child to come home.

“Frankly, I think children do better than adults think they will,” says Eubanks. “Once children see all the wonderful materials and are engaged in learning, they are usually fine.”

Comments	Date

Name:
Email:
Comments :

Copyright © CTW Features