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Love (Yourself) After Weight Loss

After dropping pounds, many people have trouble seeing themselves – and their lives – as they really are

Man in the mirror

For many people that lose weight it’s hard to train the mind to accept that they are no longer fat. But you can let go of the ingrained image of the overweight person and be a healthier, happier individual in the process by working to change your mindset, says Deb Burgand, Los Altos, Calif.-based psychologist and body image specialist.

“I think we get taught that the fat on our bodies is the reason why people mistreat us, so we start having adversarial relationships with our bodies and lose touch with it as a partner,” says Burgand.

Obese individuals tend to have lower self-esteem to begin with, and once the extra pounds have been shed, confidence isn’t fully regained, especially for those that lacked it to begin with and those with problems that don’t stem from being overweight.

“You thought you’d be confident and more secure in yourself if you lost the weight, but afterwards your marriage still sucks and you’re unhappy at your job. After someone loses weight and they don’t regain confidence, it might come down to the realization that you don’t lose parts of who you are when you lose the weight.”

Burgand believes most people imagine themselves to become different people once thin, but she says your core personality will not change just because you feel better about the way you look.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services says eating healthy, getting regular exercise and plenty of rest are all essential to developing a healthy body image.

“New habits like exercise and healthy eating may be tough, but in some ways it keeps people in the mode to continue to be healthy,” says Marilyn Tanner-Blasiar, a St. Louis, Mo.-based dietician and spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association. New clothes can also help one accept their new size by providing a fresh new look, or a way to “smell the roses” and get to enjoy the new you.

Keep in mind your genetic inheritance also translates into your weight and how you lose it, just like your height is genetic.

“But the population isn’t saying if you’re not a certain height, something is wrong with you,” says Burgand. “Look at the quality of your life to see if you’re getting what you need because that will affect the weight of a person and how they see themselves.”

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