A Nip, a Tuck and One Unhappy Family

For those going under the knife in search of a better body, loved ones aren't always supportive.

By Timothy R. Schulte
CTW Features

The big surprise after going under the knife for a little nip and tuck may not be how wonderful the procedure turned out but how unsupportive family and friends are acting.

Not all cosmetic surgery patients receive affirmative backing from their loved ones, which often comes as a shock.

“The negative reaction usually comes from friends or family members who they thought would be supportive,” says Dr. Henri Gaboriau, resident plastic surgeon at the Sammamish Center for Plastic Reconstructive Surgery, Sammamish, Wash. “[It’s] very traumatic because it comes from a person they feel are supportive.”

Negative reactions most often stem from two factors, he says. The first, jealousy, may arise because that person would have loved to have the procedure but lacked the courage or finances to do so. The second is that the person may have a staunch belief that plastic surgery is wrong, be it rooted in psychological or religious beliefs. Miscommunication is another rare case. Believe it or not, some patients go about the surgery while keeping a spouse or loved ones in the dark.

Foremost, it’s important to answer why a cosmetic procedure is being sought. When patients are look toward plastic surgery for their own benefit and to improve their self-image, that’s when it’s best, says Gaboriau. But when there’s self-esteem pressures from friends or a spouse to change the way one looks, that’s when it’s bad, and Gaboriau says many times he’ll turn down consults who fall under that reasoning.

He recently had a patient who had come in for surgery to correct the damage from a gone-wrong dermatological treatment. The surgery was a success ¬– she looked how she did before the treatment – until she went to meet a friend for coffee. When the friend saw her, she acted disgusted, claiming, “This is the stupidest thing you have ever done.”

“It was an attack,” says Gaboriau, who has been confronted himself by angry friends of patients.

The perception of plastic surgery is skewed because the focus often lies on the physical result, not the psychological result. Strong support systems reassure patients they made the right decision and also help them combat side effects of the surgery, such as anxiety and depression.

Communicating with a friend or loved one about why they’re seeking surgery and asking them how you can help will not only make them feel better about themselves but speed up their recovery and limit side effects. Being supportive is the best thing you can be – following a little nip and tuck, there’s nothing better than a kiss and hug.

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