Spouse or House?

Couple’s looking to tie the knot and buy a new home can face having to put 1 dream on hold

By Taniesha Robinson
CTW Features

Buying a home is stressful for any couple, but it presents a unique challenge for those that are newly engaged and juggling wedding planning.

For Renia Lusby, 26, and her fiancé, Kristopher Butler, 28, the balancing act ceased about two weeks after their engagement. “When it came down to the wire, the house was more important,” Lusby says. Both Lusby and Butler agreed that it was more financially responsible to take on the home purchase first.

However, postponed nuptials do not have to be the case for every couple that attempts to manage wedding plans and homebuying simultaneously. Diann Patton, consumer specialist for Coldwell Banker Real Estate, says there have been various happy endings for couples that have worked with her. Some were able to manage both at the same time; others delayed at least one of the milestones to give each individual focus and energy. “You certainly don’t want to start a relationship off buying the wrong house and getting married at the same time,” Patton says. “That could bring a lot of stress.”

Of course finances are a huge factor to consider when tackling such major expenses. “Allow plenty of leeway in what you think your monthly [mortgage] payments should be,” says Al Brent, broker at Russell Realtors in North Ridgeville, Ohio. Brent says that unexpected expenses can arise when purchasing a home. A couple can wind up in more than a pinch if a wedding budget stifles leeway in home expenses.

Whether a couple holds off on a wedding or home can also be determined by the housing market, Patton says. The recent first-time homebuyer’s tax credit heavily influenced Lusby and Butler’s decision to by a home first. Patton says that the market is still great for buyers because interest rates and prices remain low. Yet, enticing deals shouldn’t lead to hastiness in deciding to buy a home. “If [couples] are planning on buying a home before marriage, don’t,” Brent says. “Get married first and see how you work together. See what issues arise in the marriage.”

Both Brent and Patton stress the importance of communication between spouses when buying a home. Patton says that proximity to work and family is one of the top things to discuss. Couples who are sure about what they want and work closely with real estate professionals should find fitting options in 30 to 60 days, which is a small period of time taken away from the typical wedding planning stint, Patton says.

The timeline for the two events didn’t coexist so neatly for Lusby. “The homebuying process is very tedious,” she says. “You look at millions of homes and they’re just sub-par. It’s very stressful, very taxing.”

Lusby and Butler did finally find their dream home after about 8 months of searching. They moved in last June and are currently planning their wedding, which is set for next July. Lusby is ecstatic about their decision. “It really gives us time to give [the wedding] the attention that it’s due,” she says.

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