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2 Brides’ 2 Cents As they prepare for their own nuptials, two of our writers share their first steps of wedding-planning process 
Experience is the best teacher. So to help newly engaged women everywhere, we’ve asked a few of our writers, who are in the throes of planning their own weddings, to share their thoughts on the first things they did after getting engaged. Anna Hirsh, 31, Portland, Ore. 1. I thought more about trying to make everyone else happy than myself It was a serious hindrance. I figured that if there were things that I could do to make my future [in-laws] happy, my own family happy, my friends happy … then no problem. You always hear that the wedding isn’t for you, it’s for everyone else. The problem then became that nothing was getting decided … and it turns out I wasn’t much liking the way it felt like my wedding was turning out. It wasn’t feeling like me. I quickly began to realize that maybe I actually did care about what kind of wedding I had, even if it was a simple and mellow wedding. I now feel that your wedding should be for you, first and foremost, because it’s not a day to just get over and done with. 2. I started looking at bridal magazines and planning books It’s good because it gets you in the wedding frame of mind, and you can see what’s out there. You can see how fun and magical and special it can be. On the other hand, it can really stress you out because these magazine and books have made weddings a big business. They tend to make you feel like you are already behind in your planning, that there is so much to do, that it has to cost a fortune, and that there are too many details to count. I would say to enter into that world with a grain of salt. Try to relax and revel in the fun of looking at pretty pictures instead of thinking about what you have to do next. 3. I called or e-mailed everyone I know and told them the news That was a great idea. Hearing people’s words of love, support, excitement, and even advice, was absolutely fantastic. It made me think about why my fiancé and I want to get married in the first place. Mary Fons, 28, Chicago 1. I did NOT call everyone in my address book and scream, ‘I got engaged!’ We didn’t do some big announcement right away because it did seem like a private thing. Of course, now that we’re planning stuff and sending save-the-date cards, and it’s been a couple months since he popped the question, everyone’s involved in a way. But at first, it was just so natural to us that we were engaged, making a big announcement just seemed silly. 2. We picked a date we liked I realized pretty quickly that until you have a date, you can’t do much of anything. You can’t book a space, a church, a photographer, etc. You can’t contact bridesmaids or invite Grandma. Date first, plans second. 3. We went and got a ring There wasn’t one at the time of the proposal because he was just that “in the moment” that he hadn’t even planned to pop the question that night. I’m not a demanding girl, but it was very important to me to have a ring right away. It makes an engagement official, that’s all. I don’t care too much about bling or jewelry, but I do care about a rite of passage in my life. Plus, I know what I like, so it didn’t take long at all to pick one out. And I’m happy! |
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