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Attendants, the Garter... TRADITION! Few events in life involve more traditions than a wedding. Take 'em. Leave 'em. Above all, take them in stride Q: In college, my fiancé was in a fraternity and I was in a sorority. We've stayed in close contact with many members of these groups. As it stands now, we have a large bridal party - 10 on each side. However, there are still people we want to include in our wedding. How can we honor special friends without adding more bridesmaids and groomsmen? A: A wedding is a wonderful opportunity to recognize family and friends who have supported you, and you're very lucky to have so many important people in your lives. Roles of honor are not limited to the bridal party. These are some additional ways you can honor these special guests. At the ceremony, ask greeters to welcome guests to the church and pass out programs. Appoint ushers to escort wedding guests to their seats. Select readers to recite scripture passages for a religious service or meaningful poems for a secular ceremony. If a talented friend can sing or play an instrument, ask them to perform during a key moment of the ceremony, like the lighting of the unity candle. At the reception, appoint one or two outgoing family members to be in charge of the guest book, encouraging wedding guests to leave well wishes. Q: I got engaged two weeks ago and it's been a whirlwind of excitement ever since. But, now that things are starting to settle down, I've realized that I have no idea where to begin to plan the wedding. Where do I start? A: The very first thing you need to do is create a budget. Sit down and talk with your fiancé, your parents, his parents - anyone who will be financially responsible for the wedding - and discuss your expectations and desires. Once a budget has been put in place, come up with a rough guest list. You'll want to have an estimate for your guest count, since this will be important when selecting a reception site. The first vendors you should select are the venues for the ceremony and reception. Once this is accomplished, you have secured your wedding date. Interview wedding consultants to assist you with the planning or just for day-of coordination. Photographers and reception musicians (bands and disc jockeys) tend to book up early, so these should be next on your list. From there, break the planning into a month-by-month checklist and take it a little bit at a time. Q: I'm one of the last of my friends to get married, so there will only be a few single people at my wedding. Are there any alternatives to the traditional bouquet and garter toss? A: Couples are getting married a little later than they did 10 years ago, and that often means fewer single guests attend a wedding. Demographics is one reason for declining interest in the bouquet and garter rituals, considered to confer luck and a future spouse on the recipients. It's fair to say that some men and women consider the garter toss an outmoded and undignified spectacle, another reason for the downturn. On the rise: the more inclusive anniversary dance. With this dance, all married couples are invited to join the bride and groom on the dance floor. Once the dancing gets underway, the DJ or bandleader asks all couples married less than one year to leave the floor, while everyone else continues. As the song goes on, he dismisses couples married five, 10, 20 years and beyond until the couple that has been married the longest has the dance floor to themselves. The bride and groom then present a small bouquet to the couple. Q: My fiancé and I don't want to have a receiving line at our wedding. Do we have to have one? A: Receiving lines, once an essential wedding tradition, have been losing popularity in recent years. Some couples view receiving lines as tedious and time-consuming and choose not to incorporate them into their weddings. Etiquette does call, however, for the bride and groom to make an attempt to greet and thank each guest for sharing in their special day. One alternative is for the bridal couple to make the rounds from table to table during the reception. However, depending on the size of the guest list (and due to the fact that most guests don't stay seated at their tables after dinner), it's not always possible to visit with every guest. A receiving line, either at the church or the hall, ensures that the bride and groom can share a few words with every guest, even if it's just for a few moments. If you decide to incorporate a receiving line, you don't have to include the entire bridal party. Nowadays, most are made up by the bride, groom, the bride's parents and the groom's parents. Laura Davis, the founder of Laura Davis Weddings, is a wedding consultant in Berkley, Mich. Visit her Web site at www.davisweddings.com |
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